Just Live

For me, love comes in many forms. I love my family, my friends and so many little things in life but in so many different ways. That is the beauty of love, I guess, it is unlimited and can be felt for a great deal of reasons not just falling in love with someone. One of the big things about being human is our ability to love, to choose love. We can fight it all we like but sometimes you just cannot help the overwhelming sense of happiness and pleasure you get from even the little things. A couple of months ago I went to a gig and I had such an amazing time and my heart felt so full. In that moment I was so in love with life and so thankful for everything that I have. Now sometimes it can be hard to really appreciate and love our lives because there is so much going on in not only the world but our own individual lives too. Sometimes it can be hard to choose love because we are so used to being met with war, hatred and darkness in the news, in relationships, in everything. It’s ok to be down about that sometimes but we should really focus on how precious this life is and that we don’t know if we will ever get a second chance in another life so we have to just go for it in this one. We need to learn to love ourselves, to really show ourselves that we care. Focus on making yourself the best version of you that you can possibly fathom and don’t settle for anyone that makes you think any less of yourself. Live in every moment. That doesn’t mean you have to go party every weekend or have to be doing something completely amazing every single day. I want to be happy with my life and to appreciate the little things because to some people those tiny things we take for granted is something that they dream of having or being able to do. Let go of the expectations and limitations that society has put on us with social media and the image of the perfect life.

Be in love with your life and you will prosper. Help others see the beauty in what they have and it will not only fill your own heart but it will fill theirs as well. This world has enough negativity through politicians, governments, wars and violence but we can change that. If we choose peace, love and serenity we will be able to live our best lives and in turn show others that they too can live the same kind of peaceful life.

Who Am I?

Who am I? A question, I’m sure, we’ve all asked ourselves at one stage in our lives. What is my purpose here? Do I have one? Or is that something humankind made up to make us feel like we have meaning, to make us feel that we are valid. I’m not sure but I am sure that I want to find out. I want to explore the world, to open my mind to new possibilities, to different ways of life other than the way I’ve been brought up to accept. I’ve not yet found myself but I know where I want to go and who I want to become. It will take some time and a lot of hard work but I’ll get there. It can be hard though, to just take the risk and follow your biggest desires. To be vulnerable and for people to be able to see that vulnerability. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on how much my life has changed and how much I have changed as a person in as little as a year. I look back at old photos, looking at myself thinking who the hell is she? I not only look different physically but I feel different. The way I am and the way I think is entirely different to how I used to be. We’re constantly changing and change isn’t a bad thing, it’s just new. I’ll never be able to hold on to the old me because as I’ve grown as a human being I’ve opened my mind to so much more, been taught new ideas and ways of thinking. I will constantly be changing and I’m ok with that. I just need to find myself along the way, to realise who I am and to accept myself.

Sometimes I think our perceptions of ourselves are construed by the media, we’re brainwashed into thinking a certain way. To feel a certain way about ourselves and we’re taught, men and women, to compare ourselves to one another. We’ve been made to think less of ourselves and to self deprecate. We are the creators in our own minds and we’re allowing the media to manipulate our train of thought to change our perceptions on life and the things that matter. I know that physical beauty is a trivial desire and to feel beautiful on the inside is a lot more rewarding experience, it just takes time to grow that confidence and knowledge of yourself. The media seems to have this hold on all of us, one that manipulates how we naturally feel and twists it into a feeling that will benefit advertisers. When did we become so shallow? Day by day I am learning my purpose on this earth and you should know too that this purpose of yours cannot be lessened by what others think of you or by who the media tells you that you should be.

Crying In The Club (Literally)

Have you ever gone out for a fun night with the girls but you’ve been in a really terrible mood all day? Yeah, I’m sure most of us have. You’re either coming on your period and your hormones are messing with you, or you’ve had a shit week at work or sometimes you’re just not having a great day within yourself and that’s ok. For me I find when I am in this kind of down state that I often don’t have high expectations for the night or for anything and that’s when I turn out to have a brilliant night. Sometimes we really do need to have those down time to actually appreciate the good ones. Often nights out don’t go how you plan them and that can be when people start to get annoyed or upset with one another and when people really have a crappy night. The silver lining of this story is that you’re always going to experiences good and bad times and it’s how much you are willing to just accept and embrace it.

Just the other day I was having a real low point, you know. One where you just doubt everything and the whole dramatic idea that the whole world is against you. Usually teen drama, I guess. Not even that sometimes you just sit feeling a bit sorry for yourself. So I was getting ready and I really just didn’t want to go out, I wanted to cancel and just stay at home and fall deeper into my little miserable state. In the end I fought with myself and the better half of me won and got myself ready. My friend came round and I got my outfit on and off we went. I was already feeling better and had something to smile about. I felt genuinely happy and ended up having a good night with good friends. The images above are from two different nights out, the first of which I was really excited for and was nice but the second one was the scenario I just explained and ended up having an equally fun time if not a little more fun because I was more carefree the second time round. It’s amazing how your mood can lift by the littlest things, like chatting with your close friends, dancing, seeing a cute guy you like, messing around and just having a genuine laugh with everyone. Embrace your bad days and know that without them you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the good ones. Realise that everything does happen for a reason and your path is going in a direction that is good for you, even if you don’t see it at first.


Choose Peace

Sometimes it can be hard to choose peace. A lot of the time people choose not to see it. Instead, they spread anger, negativity and hatred. It pollutes our air and scatters down to the masses. We feel that we should be angry at certain situations and we may not realise it but it’s because we’ve seen others react the same way and think that it is acceptable. We can be the generation that spreads peace, calm and positivity. We just need to try. Governments start wars and create conflict in attempts to ‘protect’ us yet they seem to make us more enemies than we had before. This is our only chance in the world to really make a difference and what a beautiful thing it would be for our generation to be in the history books as the generation of peace. We need to make peace with our enemies, our own demons, our families and old friends. Love, love, love. Spread it. It’s contagious.

I see so much misery in this world and I feel it personally. It hurts me. I just want us to try, to try and be peaceful. Start with making peace within yourself. Then the rest is easy. We can lead the way for future generations to use their words instead of their weapons. A world with just a little more love could really help and maybe it’ll make people realise that life is more than a like on Instagram or how expensive your car is. And maybe that peace within the masses will rise up so high that our governments and those that place themselves at the top of the hierarchy will wake up and smell the spirit of the people and in turn realise that peace is the most powerful weapon we have. Peace always. Love always.

Girl On Girl Hate

Girl on girl hate is something that I’ve grown to realise is enevitable. We’re pinned against one another in film, magazines and online. We’re made to feel that we need to compete with one another, not on our intelligence but on our looks. On how we look to others. We look at pretty girls and decide to hate them because society has told us that we should feel threatened by other women. That our beauty defines us and if someone is more beautiful than us, then they are not to be trusted. That we should scowl at them and make them feel less of themselves because we are jealous. How can we live in a society like this? Why is this ok? I for one am standing against this. I love to tell other women how beautiful they are not only for their looks but for who they are as a human being. As cheesy as this may sound, there is more to life than external beauty.
I see mean girls, a lot. You need to break the mould. Surround yourself with people that are going to lift you up and support you, not those who are there to bring you down piece by piece. I’ve had friends in the past who have treated me like shit and I let them because I didn’t know any different back then. We’ve all had friends who find it hard to compliment others, who find it hard to see beyond themselves. That ok, their own self love, and sometimes consceted mindset, pushes them to only focus on themselves and how beautiful they appear to others. It can be dangerous for these people to allow others to start loving and accepting themselves because they then might find the beauty in themselves rather than others too. What I’m getting at is that some people are selfish and sometimes you have to be selfish too but don’t become so self involved that you cannot allow anyone else to feel happy within themselves. There is no need to try and bring others down just to make yourself feel better, to keep yourself up on that pedestal that you created for only you. Love and appreciate others, show them their value and always seek to make others happy. Friendship is a powerful tool and building one creates the foundation of you. Radiate positivity and help create the best version of yourself that you could possibly imagine.

Passenger Live

I couldn’t have chosen a better gig than Passenger for my first one. From Mike’s jokes to the spirit of the audience, the entire show was just beautiful. I was on a whole new level of good vibes and I felt the music spreading through my body and I couldn’t help but shut my eyes, dance along and embrace it. The fact that Mike (Passenger) is so passionate and is in love with music and the message that he has to give is so meaningful and pure makes me love his music even more.

I loved hearing the stories he had from when he would be busking around the world meeting so many unique individuals and hearing their stories. I would love to travel the world one day and just learn more about people. You must learn a lot travelling this world alone, you can share all the highs and the lows with no one but yourself and use that new knowledge to create, to inspire. That is exactly what Passenger’s music does for me, it inspires me to keep going to never give up or give in. His music encourages me to never settle and not to give in to the system that our society has created for us.

So now for the story of the whole night. Our night began at around 4pm when my friend and I went for an early dinner. We then got to Fort Regent for about 6pm (an hour early) and we actually got in past before anyone was there and got to hear a little sneak peak of Passenger’s supporting act Lucy Rose, who is fucking amazing by the way. After a while we went to the toilets and when we got back we had to wait to get back through as the security had arrived. Finally at just after 7pm we were allowed in and got our bands and our bags checked. The venue was so tiny, I was surprised but that made it so much more personal to me. I loved it. I stood myself right at the front in the centre, I was so pumped. Throughout the night I got so into the songs and my heart felt so full and it still does. At one point I had my eyes closed and my fingers were dancing along with me to the beat and Mike looked down at me in front of him and laughed a little. He also smiled at me later in the gig which made my heart even fuller! At the end of the gig we all chanted for one more song and then broke out into one of his songs which was so magical and beautiful. He came back on with his band and they played two more songs for us which was amazing. I was so in love with the whole night. When it actually ended and the lights came on we turned around as people were leaving and there was a sea of plastic cups discarded on the floor, it was awful so we helped pick them all up. I was on such a high after the gig and was having the best time, living my best life. We then decided to dance on throughout the night and went to town to the clubs and had a great time singing along once again and dancing the night away. A magical night that ended on a high. A night I will never forget and one that will remain one of my more treasured and favourite memories.

Feeling Nostalgic

It’s crazy how a certain smell can really take you back to a time and place from your past. Just like a song or even a photograph can bring memories flooding back. I love that. Recently I’ve been feeling very nostalgic and looking back on old photos that hold so many memories for me. Part of me feels so happy when I reminisce and yet a small part of me feels a little sad because it’s all over. I look back on these times and think about what I used to believe and do. I used to be so carefree. I didn’t ever really see myself as a young woman, I never thought about it. I just ran around and did my own thing with no worries. I didn’t care for being in a relationship and I guess I didn’t need to because we were all quite innocent back then. I miss only ever feeling self conscious when picked upon in class or when walking on stage. Other than that I didn’t really feel too much pressure coming from peers or my family, I guess because I made sure that I wasn’t being pressured into doing things I didn’t want to do. I still am like that, I won’t let people try and force of manipulate me into doing things that I am uncomfortable doing. Some things never change.

I almost don’t recognise myself when looking at these photos. I feel that I have grown into such a different person inside and out. My style has definitely matured and grown into its own unique taste. I’ve lost and gained friends and learnt a great deal in my youth.  I’ve also gained a lot of knowledge and have gone through some very important life lessons, ones that cannot be taught. The thing is, so many people wish they could have done things differently and yes there are thing’s that I wonder what if that had happened differently. But ultimately I wouldn’t have done it any other way because I had fun and even though people called me weird and tried to bring me down I didn’t care. I knew even then that my uniqueness scared others and people only try to break things that they don’t understand or that are different to how they are. I love that I was weird, it means I was authentically myself.

I don’t know why I’ve been feeling so nostalgic lately. Maybe it’s because I’ve been out of education completely for a year now and I miss hanging out with my buddies everyday in school and being a carefree young teen. I mean I’m still a teen but not for much longer. It can be important to reflect on how you have grown and changed over the years, just as it is important to realise when you are not changing and knowing that sometimes this isn’t a bad thing. Be honest with yourself and you won’t need to feel regret or unease. Learn that the only person you need to satisfy is yourself and you can’t live off hoping that others will give you the kind of love that you need to give yourself.