For the past few months I’ve been living in Cardiff and to say the least it’s been hard to adjust. I never really felt a strong connection to the city and haven’t been able to really find my place here, yet. I originally saw this place as dismal, I haven’t really felt a spark of inspiration or joy towards the city. In part, it’s probably because I’m not used to busy, cramped city life with no greenery or ocean surrounding me. I felt a real disconnect from everything and everyone, including myself. Eventually, piece by piece I’ve been building myself back up and really trying to figure my new self out as an independent young adult. I started to build the space around me to reflect the kind of person I am. I’ve been sending out the energy I wish to receive in return. I’ve managed to create a home out of my halls and my room really is my little haven now. It’s so relaxing and I’m so glad that I did this to really help me settle in and make something my own. It really helps that I love my flatmates. We’re like a little family. I guess it just takes time to really settle in and find out the kinds of things you like and dislike. You get to know people and who they really are and the same for yourself. Independence can really change a person and make them see the world from a completely different, unsheltered, perspective.
It’s so important to surround yourself with like minded people who want the best for you as much as you want the best for them. It is so easy to lose yourself in the mix of things. I found at first I really wasn’t myself, I couldn’t be happy because I simply wasn’t. I felt out of place and I was annoyed at myself for not being my authentic self. That’s the beauty but also the ugliness of starting a fresh somewhere new, you can be anyone that you want to be. It gets dangerous when you become someone that even you don’t recognise. I never really changed all that much when arriving in Cardiff, just a more sheltered version of myself. I guess that all comes with nerves and being scared of what others think of you. Now I can say that I am myself and I feel moving away has helped me find more of myself, some aspects that I had never really focused on or developed before. It can be hard to let go of the past and easier to just stay in the same place with all the same people not really changing anything that you’re doing or experiencing new things but life isn’t as simple as that. In order for us to grow and develop as people we need to go through things that may challenge us or scare us. We need to realise that there is so much we have not yet experienced and something we should strive for. We should accept change and enjoy the journey. No one achieved their greatness by staying in the same place their whole life.