Who Am I?

Who am I? A question, I’m sure, we’ve all asked ourselves at one stage in our lives. What is my purpose here? Do I have one? Or is that something humankind made up to make us feel like we have meaning, to make us feel that we are valid. I’m not sure but I am sure that I want to find out. I want to explore the world, to open my mind to new possibilities, to different ways of life other than the way I’ve been brought up to accept. I’ve not yet found myself but I know where I want to go and who I want to become. It will take some time and a lot of hard work but I’ll get there. It can be hard though, to just take the risk and follow your biggest desires. To be vulnerable and for people to be able to see that vulnerability. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on how much my life has changed and how much I have changed as a person in as little as a year. I look back at old photos, looking at myself thinking who the hell is she? I not only look different physically but I feel different. The way I am and the way I think is entirely different to how I used to be. We’re constantly changing and change isn’t a bad thing, it’s just new. I’ll never be able to hold on to the old me because as I’ve grown as a human being I’ve opened my mind to so much more, been taught new ideas and ways of thinking. I will constantly be changing and I’m ok with that. I just need to find myself along the way, to realise who I am and to accept myself.

Sometimes I think our perceptions of ourselves are construed by the media, we’re brainwashed into thinking a certain way. To feel a certain way about ourselves and we’re taught, men and women, to compare ourselves to one another. We’ve been made to think less of ourselves and to self deprecate. We are the creators in our own minds and we’re allowing the media to manipulate our train of thought to change our perceptions on life and the things that matter. I know that physical beauty is a trivial desire and to feel beautiful on the inside is a lot more rewarding experience, it just takes time to grow that confidence and knowledge of yourself. The media seems to have this hold on all of us, one that manipulates how we naturally feel and twists it into a feeling that will benefit advertisers. When did we become so shallow? Day by day I am learning my purpose on this earth and you should know too that this purpose of yours cannot be lessened by what others think of you or by who the media tells you that you should be.


Crying In The Club (Literally)

Have you ever gone out for a fun night with the girls but you’ve been in a really terrible mood all day? Yeah, I’m sure most of us have. You’re either coming on your period and your hormones are messing with you, or you’ve had a shit week at work or sometimes you’re just not having a great day within yourself and that’s ok. For me I find when I am in this kind of down state that I often don’t have high expectations for the night or for anything and that’s when I turn out to have a brilliant night. Sometimes we really do need to have those down time to actually appreciate the good ones. Often nights out don’t go how you plan them and that can be when people start to get annoyed or upset with one another and when people really have a crappy night. The silver lining of this story is that you’re always going to experiences good and bad times and it’s how much you are willing to just accept and embrace it.

Just the other day I was having a real low point, you know. One where you just doubt everything and the whole dramatic idea that the whole world is against you. Usually teen drama, I guess. Not even that sometimes you just sit feeling a bit sorry for yourself. So I was getting ready and I really just didn’t want to go out, I wanted to cancel and just stay at home and fall deeper into my little miserable state. In the end I fought with myself and the better half of me won and got myself ready. My friend came round and I got my outfit on and off we went. I was already feeling better and had something to smile about. I felt genuinely happy and ended up having a good night with good friends. The images above are from two different nights out, the first of which I was really excited for and was nice but the second one was the scenario I just explained and ended up having an equally fun time if not a little more fun because I was more carefree the second time round. It’s amazing how your mood can lift by the littlest things, like chatting with your close friends, dancing, seeing a cute guy you like, messing around and just having a genuine laugh with everyone. Embrace your bad days and know that without them you wouldn’t be able to enjoy the good ones. Realise that everything does happen for a reason and your path is going in a direction that is good for you, even if you don’t see it at first.


Choose Peace

Sometimes it can be hard to choose peace. A lot of the time people choose not to see it. Instead, they spread anger, negativity and hatred. It pollutes our air and scatters down to the masses. We feel that we should be angry at certain situations and we may not realise it but it’s because we’ve seen others react the same way and think that it is acceptable. We can be the generation that spreads peace, calm and positivity. We just need to try. Governments start wars and create conflict in attempts to ‘protect’ us yet they seem to make us more enemies than we had before. This is our only chance in the world to really make a difference and what a beautiful thing it would be for our generation to be in the history books as the generation of peace. We need to make peace with our enemies, our own demons, our families and old friends. Love, love, love. Spread it. It’s contagious.

I see so much misery in this world and I feel it personally. It hurts me. I just want us to try, to try and be peaceful. Start with making peace within yourself. Then the rest is easy. We can lead the way for future generations to use their words instead of their weapons. A world with just a little more love could really help and maybe it’ll make people realise that life is more than a like on Instagram or how expensive your car is. And maybe that peace within the masses will rise up so high that our governments and those that place themselves at the top of the hierarchy will wake up and smell the spirit of the people and in turn realise that peace is the most powerful weapon we have. Peace always. Love always.

Girl On Girl Hate

Girl on girl hate is something that I’ve grown to realise is enevitable. We’re pinned against one another in film, magazines and online. We’re made to feel that we need to compete with one another, not on our intelligence but on our looks. On how we look to others. We look at pretty girls and decide to hate them because society has told us that we should feel threatened by other women. That our beauty defines us and if someone is more beautiful than us, then they are not to be trusted. That we should scowl at them and make them feel less of themselves because we are jealous. How can we live in a society like this? Why is this ok? I for one am standing against this. I love to tell other women how beautiful they are not only for their looks but for who they are as a human being. As cheesy as this may sound, there is more to life than external beauty.
I see mean girls, a lot. You need to break the mould. Surround yourself with people that are going to lift you up and support you, not those who are there to bring you down piece by piece. I’ve had friends in the past who have treated me like shit and I let them because I didn’t know any different back then. We’ve all had friends who find it hard to compliment others, who find it hard to see beyond themselves. That ok, their own self love, and sometimes consceted mindset, pushes them to only focus on themselves and how beautiful they appear to others. It can be dangerous for these people to allow others to start loving and accepting themselves because they then might find the beauty in themselves rather than others too. What I’m getting at is that some people are selfish and sometimes you have to be selfish too but don’t become so self involved that you cannot allow anyone else to feel happy within themselves. There is no need to try and bring others down just to make yourself feel better, to keep yourself up on that pedestal that you created for only you. Love and appreciate others, show them their value and always seek to make others happy. Friendship is a powerful tool and building one creates the foundation of you. Radiate positivity and help create the best version of yourself that you could possibly imagine.