Who am I? A question, I’m sure, we’ve all asked ourselves at one stage in our lives. What is my purpose here? Do I have one? Or is that something humankind made up to make us feel like we have meaning, to make us feel that we are valid. I’m not sure but I am sure that I want to find out. I want to explore the world, to open my mind to new possibilities, to different ways of life other than the way I’ve been brought up to accept. I’ve not yet found myself but I know where I want to go and who I want to become. It will take some time and a lot of hard work but I’ll get there. It can be hard though, to just take the risk and follow your biggest desires. To be vulnerable and for people to be able to see that vulnerability. I’ve been reflecting a lot lately on how much my life has changed and how much I have changed as a person in as little as a year. I look back at old photos, looking at myself thinking who the hell is she? I not only look different physically but I feel different. The way I am and the way I think is entirely different to how I used to be. We’re constantly changing and change isn’t a bad thing, it’s just new. I’ll never be able to hold on to the old me because as I’ve grown as a human being I’ve opened my mind to so much more, been taught new ideas and ways of thinking. I will constantly be changing and I’m ok with that. I just need to find myself along the way, to realise who I am and to accept myself.
Sometimes I think our perceptions of ourselves are construed by the media, we’re brainwashed into thinking a certain way. To feel a certain way about ourselves and we’re taught, men and women, to compare ourselves to one another. We’ve been made to think less of ourselves and to self deprecate. We are the creators in our own minds and we’re allowing the media to manipulate our train of thought to change our perceptions on life and the things that matter. I know that physical beauty is a trivial desire and to feel beautiful on the inside is a lot more rewarding experience, it just takes time to grow that confidence and knowledge of yourself. The media seems to have this hold on all of us, one that manipulates how we naturally feel and twists it into a feeling that will benefit advertisers. When did we become so shallow? Day by day I am learning my purpose on this earth and you should know too that this purpose of yours cannot be lessened by what others think of you or by who the media tells you that you should be.