This idea came from a mini spontaneous photo shoot that I did recently. This project was actually part of a task set in a local workshop with photographer Clare Rae and to create a performative piece. We were tasked with coming up with three different images, one of which needed to be a self-portrait. I focused on that and created all of my images using myself as the subject. I came up with the concept of adolescence and how I myself feel conflicted about growing up and don’t want to even though it’s already in the process of happening. The images I have created are reflective of that push and pull feeling, that part of me is growing up and moving on but the other half doesn’t want to and wants to remain youthful and carefree. I really liked this concept as it was fun to create and run around different environments within the 2 hour timeframe we were given. For the whole process I took my tripod and usual DSLR camera and brought my sister along to press the shutter when I needed her to. I set everything up with the compositions and the ideas behind each image which was a challenging yet fun process. We went to a few different locations and I worked my body within the environment that surrounded me and found that I was left with very fun and interesting images.
Overall, the shoot was really fun and I’m happy with my outcomes and the concept behind these images. They resonate with me on a personal level and I like that they are a bit strange and my stances are unusual. I often worry about growing up and how it’s all happening so fast and without my control. This change will happen whether I want it to or not, in some ways it is good and focuses me to accept and to grow with the changes but on the other hand I am slowly leaving my youth and becoming more responsible. In a way I feel conflicted about my own freedom and how having all these responsibilities may make me feel confined and less able to creatively produce my own work. The future both scares and excites me at the same time, which is something I feel that many other young people at this stage in their lives will be thinking about. Change isn’t always good and it isn’t always bad, sometimes it is indifference, but we must accept and learn that eventually it will happen.